super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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