Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
