Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
