i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
