the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
