And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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