It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Rumble strips road head = magical
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The convent might be a nice break from real life
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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