so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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