I bet he comes in French.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My vagina is very pro this idea
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
