Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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