Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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