I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize