How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
