I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
