If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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