I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
