the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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