You kept calling me your small dog last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
