I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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