You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
