Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
