Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
