Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
