come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
