I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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