you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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