So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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