honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
