I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
