he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
