school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
