Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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