I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
