went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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