im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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