he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am available for nakedness
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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