awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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