I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We need a shit load of segways right now
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
