the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
