I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
