You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize