Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
As shirtless as possible
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
