Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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