Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
