You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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