They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
