Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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