And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
