Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
