SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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