What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
