Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
