This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
