The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
