Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
